It was not the first time he asked me. Nor was he the first person to ask me. He had a wrinkle between his eye brows as he starred at me in confusion amd almost disgust.
"What did you see in him?!"
I had not really thought about the truth to the answer in that question until it continue d to haunt me.

What did I see in a person that broke me down mentally and psychologically for years?

I obsessively ran his words and disappointing tone through my mind. It worsened because it went further back.
What did I see in a man that habitually cheated? What did I see in a man that had gradually become abusive by shoving me into a stone pillar and bouncing my head off a car dash board? What had I seen in a man that stuck a loaded gun to the back of my skull with intent to punish me for accidentally driving over a curb?
What had I seen?
What does any abused person see in their abuser?

All at once it occured to me that it did not matter. Regardless of what I had once believed I falsely saw in any person, I needed to ask a different question.

What was it that I did not see in myself? What was it that made me believe I deserved that treatment? What was wrong with me to allow it to happen more then one time and with more then one person?

It takes a lot to forgive someone who has beaten and broken another. But it takes so much more to forgive oneself for allowing it to happen.